


You've seen my face (now let me show you my heart)

by Lizicia



Category: The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Established Relationship, F/M, Post-3x03, Snowells, flashpoint could have been even messier, well sort of but you'll figure it out fast
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-20
Updated: 2016-10-20
Packaged: 2018-08-23 16:05:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,292
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8333842
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lizicia/pseuds/Lizicia
Summary: 'When the breach opens and Harrison Wells comes through it, Barry barely has the time to react before Caitlin’s rushing over to engulf him in a hug.
“Harry! I thought we agreed that you’d come through next week.”
She smiles up at him, so carefree, so joyous that Harrison’s awe-struck expression seems especially ill-fitting in comparison.'
Or, existing on two different Earths can have its ramifications.





	

**Author's Note:**

> This should really be a multi-chapter but I have no patience for those.

When the breach opens and Harrison Wells comes through it, Barry barely has the time to react before Caitlin’s rushing over to engulf him in a hug.

“Harry! I thought we agreed that you’d come through next week.”

She smiles up at him, so carefree, so joyous that Harrison’s awe-struck expression seems especially ill-fitting in comparison.

“Uhm…we did?”

She looks at him for a moment until, as if hit by a sudden revelation, her smile dims and she lets go of him.

“Oh.”

Harrison for his part is still looking perplexed as Caitlin turns around and gives Barry a cold hard stare before abruptly leaving.

“What was that about?”

Harrison’s demanding inquiry is directed at Cisco who just shrugs. “I don’t know but you’d better go after your girlfriend.”

“I’m sorry, what?”

“Girlfriend?”

Him and Barry react at the same time and Cisco looks between them for a moment before he, too, seems to come to a realization.

“Oh, Barry.”

Before they can resolve anything, though, Jesse speeds through the breach and for a moment, all attention is directed towards her newly-found powers.

“We should test that out at the speed lab:”

“Speed lab?”

In a millisecond, Harrison’s confusion morphs into dreading understanding, one which Barry definitely does not want to hear about.

His wishes, though, are not entirely accepted.

“Have you renamed a section of the STAR Labs, so it would be called the speed lab, _Barry_?”

Harrison’s question seems to be especially pointed and equally self-answering.

“Don’t tell me you ran back in time and changed the timeline.”

“…Okay, I won’t.”

He rolls his eyes and sighs so heavily that Barry wouldn’t be surprised is half of Central City heard it.

“Didn’t I specifically tell you not to do this, Barry? Who knows what you changed with this.”

“Oh, actually, we have an ever-growing list of things that we _do_ know about. Now it also includes the speed lab – how could we not have had that before? – and, well, Caitlin being your-“

“Yeah.”

Harrison won’t let him finish the sentence and closes his eyes for a moment, as if even the thought of what Cisco’s about to say is too much.

“But no one else can remember anything about the timeline. How can you?”

“Other Earth, other timeline. So when did you do it? After we returned to Earth-2? Why would you be so reckless again, Allen?”

“Look, Harry, only a couple of things are different.”

“ _Very_ different.”

Caitlin appears in the speed lab, calm and collected again, except for the lingering tremble in her voice. She resolutely looks Harrison straight in the eye and he opens his mouth as if to retort but nothing comes out.

“Look, Caitlin, I-“

“No.” She stops Barry’s explanation with a sternly raised hand and a clear dismissal in her voice. “Our priority right now is to figure out how Jesse got her powers. That’s why you’re here, so that’s what we’ll do.”

When everybody just keeps looking at her as if she’ll break any second, she rolls her eyes. “Cisco, the monitor for Jesse? Barry, observe, since you’ve never been here before. Same goes for you.”

It doesn’t go unnoticed that she can’t bring herself to say _Harry_ again.

She’s quiet throughout the test, only focusing on the monitors in front of her, checking Jesse’s vitals as the girl runs around the circuit, gaining more and more speed, matching Barry’s best readings with ease.

It is easy to forget that something’s changed in the room other than that but the tension remains, hovering underneath all the statistics she reads out and she can sense it. Cisco keeps shooting concerned glances at her, and reproachful ones at Barry. Harrison, for his part, tries to ignore her but she can feel the quick, fleeting glances he throws her way.

For a moment there, she had been certain that not much had changed in her life because of the alternate timeline, that nothing was taken from her because of it, not like it had been taken from Cisco.

This was a scenario she hadn’t planned for and she can’t bring herself to look at _him_ now, still remembering the shell-shocked expression on his face when she hugged him, the way he tensed up at the contact which, for him, must have been completely unexpected.

“Well, there’s nothing wrong with her. Her vitals are good, she runs like Barry, there’s nothing we really need to help her with.”

“We could run more tests.”

“Like what?”

“Like more tests.”

The worry and apprehension she can hear in his voice is familiar; she knows how much he cares for Jesse, how much he wants to protect her from everything.

“We don’t need to do any more tests, Jesse is fine.”

She addresses him directly now, not realizing that there is a line between them now which she crosses with her careless words.

Harry’s eyes flash. “Jesse is _my_ daughter.”

“ _She_ is also right here.” Jesse’s interjection seems to fall on deaf ears, though, as Caitlin only locks eyes with Harry, and feels the tension in her climb.

“Jesse is also an adult, and maybe you should not forget that.”

They focus on each other so intently that they don't see Jesse signaling for Cisco to leave and he does so, the pair entirely oblivious to that.

“Maybe you should not forget that I’m her father and you’re just…” He doesn’t quite know how to finish that sentence but still catches himself before something very regrettable can escape.

The worst part is that while she understands his worry for Jesse, it is starting to hurt that he doesn’t know – doesn’t remember – what her part in this really is.

“I’m just what? Just _Snow_?”

He exhales heavily and pinches his nose in a familiar stress-relief move. “I don’t know what it is that you’re supposed to be. Cisco said but I don’t know that reality.”

“Yes, you’ve made that pretty clear now. “

“You can’t hold it against me that Allen messing with the timeline has changed some things; as I understand it, no one has escaped unscathed.”

“Well, I would think that we’d be at least friends in your reality.”

He has the decency to look appropriately chagrined at that and nods thoughtfully.

“I never said we weren’t.”

It’s not what she’s come to expect but she’ll take it, swallow that bitter pill if it means that they can maintain some semblance of normality, and not continue to tear into each other; she has no interest in letting him hurt her more than the circumstances already have.

“Maybe I could talk to her, then. I won’t promise to convince her that powers are bad but...I’ll talk to her.”

He’s quiet for a moment while he considers her proposal and she wonders if she’s still crossed that line which did not used to be drawn between them.

“Okay.”

Harry manages a small smile and for a second, for a day, it seems like she could work with him, even in this new reality.

Just barely, until it becomes clear that she has not done a good job of convincing Jesse to not use her powers at all.

He’s harsh and biting, accusing her of siding with Jesse over him and that- that really hurts deeper than she’d promised to allow herself to feel under these new circumstances.

“Listen, _Harry_.” Caitlin knows that her tone is biting but her ire at everything has really reached its peak so she stops holding herself back and tells him exactly what she would if they were still a…them.

And he listens, mouth open, but doesn’t interfere until she’s done, until she’s told him exactly what’s been on her mind because she cannot hold it back.

She is fuming when she finishes and because she cannot take the look in his eyes any longer, she storms out, right past Cisco whose concerned question she can stop just with one hand gesture.

There is no one to stop her as she leaves the building, to take in the cool air and cool her head. It’s been a mess of two days.

“I’m sorry.”

Caitlin turns around and there’s Harry, surprisingly, behind her. “I don’t need you to be sorry. I just want you to stop blaming me for everything that’s happening with Jesse.”

“I am not trying to do that. It’s been very frustrating times and I can barely even begin to understand it. The last thing I want to do is make it worse for you.”

She lets out a wry chuckle. “I think you’ve missed your window of opportunity there.” At his pained look, she continues. “I don’t mean to blame you for Barry’s alternate timeline confusion. It’s just been hard for me.”

“Seeing me.”

She nods, fearful that her voice will fail her if she tries to speak more of it.

“I haven’t been completely honest with you, Caitlin.”

Her given name makes her perk up and look straight at him; there is something apprehensive but hopeful in his face.

“I’m being more difficult because it hasn’t been easy for me either. When we first got back, I genuinely didn’t know that we…But last night, I had dreams. And the more I think about it, the more I am convinced that they’re memories from this timeline that I haven’t lived.”

“What did you see?”

He gives her a long look as if he’s not sure if he should even continue but still decides to do so. “Our first kiss was in STAR Labs, after you’d created Velocity-9. And then we ordered Big Belly Burger and had our first date in the speed lab, after everyone else had gone home for the night.”

She feels the breath catch in her throat as that night springs back to her mind because it’s clearly not a dream because she remembers it too and it is her reality.

“I remember your laugh and the way you would let the side of your hand brush against mine whenever we were with the team and you couldn’t just hold my hand because you’re private like that.”

“Harry...”

“I have months’ worth of memories, and I don’t know what to do with them because it feels as if they’re someone else’s, as if I haven’t lived them. In my other reality, you were with Jay.”

She makes a horrified face at that. “With Zoom? I think I’m glad that part of my reality changed.”

He gives her a small smile. “Yes, I am too.”

“So you remember but you also don’t remember?”

“It might be the timeline trying to correct itself to fit our memories together, to fill in the cracks that Barry created. Me being away caused me to not change along with you but I’m not a speedster so my memories cannot be incomplete. So I guess this is…adapting.”

Caitlin shakes her head as the mere thought of time altering him like that is distressing enough. “I don’t want you to change against your will, Harry. Maybe you should go back so you don’t have to lose a part of yourself.”

He sighs but it doesn’t sound distressed or angry, more like he’s bracing himself for what comes next.

“I don’t…I’m from another universe.”

He stops as if he’s trying to make sure that she understands so she goes with it. “Yes, I’m aware.”

“I have a daughter. I look like someone from your past. I am not good at being open or honest or…affectionate, really.”

“What are you trying to say?”

He raises his hand slightly and she lets him speak, still confused about his intention, even more so when he takes a step closer.

“Maybe I was bolder in this timeline. Maybe I stopped thinking about all of it for reasons I can’t yet know but I can’t say that I never thought about it either.”

“About…us?”

“About what could be. The consequences always seemed too grave, the threat too looming, Zoom too close for comfort. I don’t know how I managed to be braver then.”

She smiles softly. “Well, you should remember that I was the one who kissed you first.”

He smirks back in easy companionship. “Yes. Maybe something aligned differently in this current reality. But all I really know in the end is that…I don’t want to not remember, and not know what it’s like. And it’s not a better time now, really-“

She should wait, she knows that. After all, he literally just told her that he has no feelings to speak of, just memories but damn it, she’s missed him too much.

So she does what she’s already done before and kisses him again, and for the first time.

For a moment, he tenses but she doesn’t stop her soft kiss, giving him the option to keep going or stop it, and it doesn’t take him long to respond. It is a first kiss in many senses of the term, with how tentative they both are being, and how exploratory it feels. At the same time, Caitlin feels like she’s finally coming home, like her world is righting itself again.

When he pulls back, there’s an awed look on his face, as if he’s just discovered the secrets of the universe.

“I can definitely understand myself now.”

She gives him another quick peck on the lips for that, and he smiles into the kiss now.

“Come on.”

He lets his hand brush up against hers as they walk back, and maybe it’s not the same, maybe they will need months to relearn each other, and maybe she can’t yet tell him exactly how much he has come to mean to her.

But there’s hope.


End file.
